About defining your own self worth - Reflection
While I was travelling on bus today, something hit my mind really hard.
I thought, even if one thousand girl reject me, does that really change who I really am? Even if I do have a great soulmate, does that also change who I am internally? Doesn't matter how much external 'stuff' that I have, it still doesn't change who I really am, isn't it? No matter how much money, girls, cars, houses, land, I have, it doesn't change the fact that I am still me, a guy who is born just the way he is, with this kind of facial features, and height, brought up by his parent and his actions leads him to gain things in life, but still, he is still that guy that has been who he always is. It is not as if he has gotten an extra nose, or look more handsome because people validate him or have more money in life.
This is where I realised, that society has ultimately made me placed my own self worth dependent on the external things I had in life.
Why do we need society or other people opinion to reflect how we think about ourselves? Even just the way we look and behave, why do we have to conform to a certain standards and achieving it just to tell ourselves that we are good enough? Everything we have in life, even others opinion, societal opinion, doesn't change the way we naturally are.
It seems as if I have forget who I truly am. This hit me really hard about the way I think about myself especially when I achieved so much in life, yet I still look externally how others perceive me, such as I really take things personally as if I am the 'loser or creep' or even the 'winner or champ' that others think.
Don't we know ourselves better than anyone else? We have been living our entire life according to our own intention, giving and providing ourselves the need that we truly desire, but why do we still need others to tell us how much we worth. If I truly knew that I am already a champ in life, I should be living according to how a champ should feel isn't it, but what is stopping me is that I AM STILL LOOKING AT HOW OTHER PERCEIVE ME.
Others opinion is just what others think, they don't know shit about what we have done in life, or the life experiences we have. Even for many self developed guys who work so hard in life and achieve so much, got rejected by a club girl with make up, with nothing going on in their life, simply because she thinks that he is not 'hot' enough, or rich enough, or bad boy enough, is similar to a situation where a beggar is condemning a rich guy because he didn't give him money. (the girl didn't get the expectation that she want in a self develop guy)
But the funny thing is that the rich guy actually still look at how the beggar perceive him, haha dafuq!
By understanding that, I felt really great about myself instantly, it should be me knowing how much I am 'above' that a club girl who life a shitty life, and spend her day getting validation from guys, and how they perceive me really doesn't mean shit.
I clearly should know by now how much I had strive to reach where I am today, the countless sleepless night, the passion that drives me to great length to achieve what I wanted in life, while a girl by the street who acts like a brat, with nothing going on in her life reject me, that doesn't represent who I am, but rather, the person who rejected me is blind to opportunity presented in front of her. The truth is, I should be looking at what I want in a girl, rather that they girl choosing what they want in a guy, because if a guy were to live to her expectation, that would mean the guy is 'lower' than her, just like how a beggar is choosing her beggar husband.