Can you guys help me a bit on the "problem" I have with a colleague of mine?
I am a married man (with 2 kids) and she has a relationship of about 8 years. More than this, I am her team lead. She is my coleague for the last 3 years, yet lately I started to have a crush on her.
She is a type of girl a bit more touchy than normal , so there is also a problem of accurately interpreting her gestures when it comes to touching.
We get along great, she is a bit more close (mentally) to me than with the rest of the people. Given that she is more touchy than normal girls some touches I tend to ignore but some seem a bit more than with others:
Now from my part of the play, I am mostly:
- teasing a lot. She playfully gets "angry" or "upset" every time. Sometimes just verbaly, sometimes a "hit" in the shoulder/arm/leg. I am always trying to playfully "pick" on her for whatever reason. She never got seriously upset and looks like she enjoys being teased everytime.
- I am looking to touch her all the time I am in her proximity. Either to prove a point in a discusion (like she does)on her arm/leg/whatever, guide her to a place with my hand on her lower back etc and I am making sure I do this 90% just with her.
What I lack at doing:
Flirty eye gazing: we are a bigger group that enjoys eating/smoking together and flirty eye gaze is the first thing anyone will notice because will be too obvious. So I tend to stop myself in doing this (although I know is a strong weapon, especially since I have green eyes).
Flirty smile: same reasons as above. I do smile a lot but no special/trully smile for her.
did not manage yet to deliver a strong and confident compliment to clearly convey my interest sexually. Our relashion is quite permissive and she will definetely not be upset even if I directly tell her "you're sexy today". Whenever she arrives and it would be the perfect time to deliver it we are never alone and a strong compliment will surely be picked up by everyone else. Sometimes in the past we were meeting in the parking lot but recently we did not manage to do that anymore.
So does this look like she has interest in me?
What should I do more? This is a very bad situation because I know that being her manager I should never do these things. But the crush is big and I am desperate to bang her.
At the same time I do not favour her and we are all friends and I am not behaving with neither as a boss. My goal is for her to be my FB and confident. Nothing more. Also I need to do anything perfectly otherwise I might blow everything up and lose her also as a friend and work-force.
Thank you in advance for your advice.