So, I'll try to keep this as concise as possible: I've recently been talking myself into embarrassment, quite a bit...
A bit about me: I'm 24, and a few months ago I put an end to a 3 -year relationship, which was at the same time my first relationship (I know...) as well as a pretty negative one that lasted three times longer than it should have - the mistakes, from my perspective, far outweighed the good times. In any case, I'm owning up to the consequences, and doing what I can to re-establish my focus.
As you can probably guess, I was a pretty lonely person in high school; and even during that relationship, both she and I were pretty introverted, and I really only had (and still have) a couple of close friends. I'm quite comfortable with solitude, but I also am interested in forging a meaningful romantic relationship.
Which brings me to my current situation: a couple of weeks ago I had dinner with a co-worker - I at first asked if she wanted to get coffee some time, she said yes, then when the next week I asked if she was free that week she said yes and then suggested we get something to eat - and, well, being as socially inept as I am I didn't realize it actually may have been a date (at least that's what I was told after consulting someone who's advice in this regard ought to be pretty sound, but I think at this point there might still be a chance that it was not). Just to add to my lamentable experience, I'll emphasize that, prior to the one relationship, I had never been on a date.
I saw some pretty clear signals of interest in the weeks before the dinner - but now... I'm seeing (or I think I'm seeing) pretty clear signals of disinterest, and looking around online I've gathered this is not necessarily a straightforward indication. However, I know I made several faux pas that could potentially have hurt my chances, and I'm trying to figure out how badly.
My good advice-giving acquaintance suggested calling her - which I did. She didn't answer, didn't call back or text. I thought I was going to see her that week, so I decided to just not text or call and just talk in person; but she ended up not going in to work that week. This past weekend I sent a Hello text, and she responded, I asked How are You, and she responded pretty casually, as did I, and finally I just asked if she was going to work next week, and again she responded.
Is it better that I don't mention the missed call?
When I saw her today I asked if we could talk after work (our place of work is not very good for this kind of conversation), but it turns out she had to leave early, and it felt like the interaction ended a little awkwardly, although on her way out she smiled and waved good bye.
Earlier tonight I sent her a text about a book, and her response had a warm tone.
I think I may have come off earlier as overly-interested, probably texted a bit more than I should have, but she always responded, and I'm now making sure not to overdo it.
I may not see her until later in the week, and I'm leaning toward talking to her next time I do... but at the same time I'm kinda wondering if it's already a lost cause.
I could call her again, but I don't know how to interpret the outcome of my last attempt!
Should I have sent a text first, asking if I could call? Would it be weird if I do that now?
I know it's impossible to know exactly how I'm coming off, but I've never been in this position before.
I would like to tell her that, as well as that I felt really nervous during dinner and afterward while we hung out, that I was trying really too hard not to seem nervous, and that I'd like to know if she'd be interested in going out again, giving me another chance to not try too hard - although I admit (maybe even to her?) that even one month ago the thought that she and I would have dinner was so far removed from the realm of what I thought was possible, and that no doubt compounded my nervousness.
I'd let her know too that if she's just not interested it's alright, no hard feelings - but if there's even one iota of possibility that I still have a chance, I want to do what I can to go about it properly.
I really want to show her I'm willing to put in the effort, but is there any way to know when I should throw in the towel?
Any input is much appreciated!