So I said that I was going to ask out Stephanie
But before I get to that particular story, I should mention Madison, Jennifer, and Michelle. I talked to Madison for 5 minutes one night. She was at a public space printing. I just started talking about her very briefly, and I noticed that she shook my hand and entered my bubble space as she did so. It was kind of cool. She was also kind of cute.
I chatted her up for a bit, and towards the end of the conversation I said, "Hey, we should network. Are you on Facebook." It turns out that she was. I'll probably invite her to a boardgame night this coming week. Should be fun.
Jennifer is a girl that I work with at my current job. My older wing man told me that I should try to ask her out a month ago.
So about two weeks ago I said, "Hey Jennifer, you look really cute today."
Her body language was not so reassuring. She seemed very awkward.
I asked, "Was that too much?"
So I backed off. I didn't hit on her anymore. I just treated her like I normally would. I actually started talking to Carolyn a bit more (another co-worker that I'm platonically interested in).
Then a week or two pass, and suddenly Jennifer is really interested in being around me. Her body language changes to nervous excitement every time she sees me. She's making eye contact again. She's nervous in a good way. etc. So, it seemed like she was interested in me again. So I invited her to a board game night.
I wrote down the time etc. And she said, "Ok."
I thought great I have a date on a weeknight. She didn't show.
So I ask her what happened.
Apparently she had facebook messaged me asking for clarification about what kind of board game event. So I'm a little annoyed that she didn't show, because I was pretty certain that we had agreed to meet. Since she felt uncomfortable she just decided not to come. Pretty jerkish dude. Anyway I'll probably ask her out once more, and that's it.
I met Michelle a couple of days ago. I was at the public library, and they have a table where they give away books. I was standing at the table, and Michelle walks over and examines the books. I start talking to her. And at some point I start to think, "We've been talking for a while. Why hasn't she left?"
She /wants/ to talk to me! She's looked at all of the books, and she's still here! I notice that she's holding a rubic's cube, and I ask her to solve it for me. She does. And she's still standing there talking to me.
So I figure it's been about 5 minutes, I'll try to get some sort of contact information from her.
"Hey, I wouldn't mind bumping into you again. Are you on Facebook?"
"Eh, I don't really use Facebook too much, but I'm around here often."
So she's not really interested in letting me have her Facebook yet. So I wish her a good night and walk out.
I'm noticing that she's just walked in the library, and she's got her backpack with her. So she's probably going to the library to study. So I go next door, eat dinner, watch a bit of youtube, and then I walk back into the library an hour later.
It's not to hard to find Michelle. She's studying in a back room. I try to walk into her room, and I get really nervous and walk away. I have a quick pep talk with myself, and I walk into her room again.
I walk up to her table and say, "Fancy meeting you here."
She jumps nearly a mile. I guess she hadn't heard my approaching. Her notebooks are open and she's mid-study session.
I pull out a chair and her table, and I'm about to sit down.
I say, "Are you super busy? I don't want to bother you if you are super busy."
"No, it's fine."
So I briefly chat with her. She's a bit more distant this time. Perhaps a bit weirded out.
At some point she asks, "So why did you come back?"
"Oh, you said that you are here a lot. I wanted to test the theory. Do you know the building next door? I've got a membership there. I walked over there and grabbed some dinner."
A few minutes later, I decide she's probably fairly busy and needs to get back to work.
So I say, "Well I don't want to bother you too much. I just wanted to say hello again."
Before I can leave she asks, "What's your name again?"
"Oh you forgot my name?" I tease, "Take a guess. It starts with a J."
"Well where I'm from Jordan as pretty popular..."
"No, I'm Josh. haha. Shall we cement it with a handshake?"
So I shake her hand and then leave. I'll probably stake the library again late at night. I'm assuming that she will get more comfortable with me with time. That's generally the way with girls. They get to know people a bit better with time. If she adds me on Facebook, she can facebook stalk me a little bit too.
Back to Stephanie...
At first she said that she was /super/ busy, and she was only able to sleep for 3-5 hours a night for the past week. She basically told me that her schedule was going to be way to hectic to add anything to it.
The old me would have wanted to respect her boundaries. I would have stopped trying right there. I would have said, "Ok. I understand."
But I recently heard Jordan Peterson mention that successful people are a little disagreeable. They push for the things that they want, even being a little annoying sometimes. It's also what Nick Notas talks about. Try twice. If you get a neutral response, make a second push.
So I said, "Even busy girls normally eat dinner on Friday nights. If we pick a fast food place, it probably won't take up much of your time. How about 7pm at noodles and company this Friday night?"
Her response was, "That sounds reasonable."
So I had a date. Awesome.
It turned out that night that she had to drive home after our dinner. So, when I asked her on Facebook an hour before our date just to confirm that we still had a date, she mentioned that she wouldn't be able to stay super long.
So I met her at Noodles and Co. I ordered her food, and she ordered hers.
I outdressed her by a long shot. I came with a shirt and tie and nice pants. She's wearing blue jeans and a cat and the hat t-shirt, but she also put on some makeup. Red lips, pearl ear rings, more makeup on her face.
We talked about her jobs, stress and life. Normally I would keep the conversation light and joke the whole way through in an effort to impress her. But Nick Notas mentions that humor can actually lead you away from deep conversations. Some deep conversations don't have lots of humor. It is a bit more serious.
So when she mentioned that her mentee was struggling, I did not resort to humor. Instead I mentioned the advice a former pastor told me.
I also paid her a couple of compliments that she really enjoyed.
I said, "Well, you seem like a nice lady."
She looked down and softly said, "Thanks."
35 minutes later, we walked out of the resturant, and it was cold outside. I am trying to get her to make good eye contact. If she did, I would have closed the distance and tried to kiss her.
But she did not angle her body towards me. She's avoiding a kiss. That's fine.
I walk her to her car, and I give her a hug. I try to look her in the eye as she's about to leave, but she looks away. Again she does not want to be kissed. So that's ok.
I wish her a good night and left.