Thanks for all the interest and feedback. I really look forward to reading more of it and answering the questions when I have more time. My schedule is incredibly packed tomorrow so I'm just going to take the time and jot down some notes while my night is still fresh in my mind.
What: I went out with my favorite wing, can call him R. We went to a place that I went to last week and was a big fan of. It's a large, two story bar with a decent sized dance floor, a pool table, and really great music. The crowd tends to be really young, about mid twenties, and very attractive. Great ratio of girls to guys.
Most Notable Interactions
1) While I was winging for R, I was entertaining two of the girl's friends and I naturally just put both my hands on the smalls of their back and had it so they were each facing me. It was a great experience because they were both very compliant to my questions and having a great time. Note, this is probably not how you should always wing, because this type of body language is more polarizing and can sometimes turn the girls off.
2) A couple of sets I opened simply by dancing up to them. There was actually a ton of dancing tonight. I finally did something that I've heard a lot about but never experienced myself. The dance floor was more or less empty except one group of girls, so I nudged my wing and and danced my way to the middle. Within about 5-6 seconds, it was very easy to see two girls were dancing to be near me, so I pulled over the one that was looking at me. Mid dance, I stopped to talk to my wing and encourage him to join me. When I'd turned around, the girl was gone, but soon another girl actually danced straight up to me and just started dancing on me. It was a lot of fun. Dancing up to people as the approach did not work all the time. I think it really depended on how high their energy level was, and whether or not they could see me coming. But it's definitely something that takes you out of your comfort zone.
3) This interaction I was really really excited about but unfortunately it had a sadder ending. I told my wing that I had to go soon, cause I had to get up early the next morning. He said ok, two more approaches. A really cute asian girl walked past me, I tapped her on the shoulder and said Hey, I had to meet you. Keep in mind, this was after an entire 2 hours full of fun approaches and great experiences so I was pretty on point. She immediately started smiling and blushing, and playing with her hair, trying to look down, but not being able to look away. This doesn't happen a lot, but I absolutely love it when it does. I immediately started getting physical, keeping in mind that was my problem from last night. I put her arms around my neck and we started slow dancing. She kept asking "who are you?" it was really adorable. I went in for the kiss after about 5-6 minutes, and while she wasn't super resistant, she was also not entirely up for it. We had a really fun role play where I said what do you do for fun? And she said nothing...I'm really boring. And I said that's not true, you love to snowboard, ski, and... "and?" and slow dancing with me. At which point she giggled and blushed again, and resumed asking me tons of questions.
So it went really well, I can only count a handful of experiences where a girl is this compliant immediately. I tried to kiss her again, and I think at some point I was hugging her again while talking, and she started stiffening up. I then tried to pull her off the dance floor but didn't say that I wanted to talk to her in a quieter area, and she got really uncomfortable, cause I think she had no idea where I was going to take her. I think doing well in this situation requires me to be comfortable with the idea that girls can be instantly turned on by me. I'm uncomfortable with that idea, and being so sexual, so I'll often try to get so physical that they leave, or I'll be uncertain about what to do next, and the vibe will change.
3 things I did well:
1) Approached a ton of girls tonight. No excuses were made, very little downtime, just constantly in and out of groups.
2) I did a great job of introducing role play and flirtations into a lot of my conversations, which sometimes I can fail to do. So for example, spinning stories for a girl of what I think she is. "You're a secretary by day, and by night you write children's books with a perverted twist and curate really niche art museums" It's important to remember that the girl will never start that, nor will she really give you any hints to start doing it. You kind of just have to get into the habit of doing it.
3) I was comfortable being more physical. I touched in all of my interactions, and no one even mentioned it, so I think it was done well. I'm also glad that I escalated so much with my last notable set. I think eventually I'll be able to dial down the anxiety around escalating, and be able to do it more playfully rather than a little intensely, which it is right now.
Things I could do better:
1) When I'm out with a wing, I've noticed I have a tendency to just try to support them. I need to get out of this habit and think about my needs. Ask my wing, who I've been going out with for a long time and getting him to wing me in more sets, telling him I'm going to approach so and so. I also sometimes fall into his frame of things he's trying to improve on, instead of focusing on my own interactions.
2) Being more normal and relaxed in interactions. I think sometimes, going out a lot actually makes you hypersensitive to "girl code" and you find yourself constantly adjusting and being prepared for the girl code that they're going to leave, or that the other girl doesn't like your wing, or there's another guy coming, etc. I think I'll benefit a lot from just relaxing and getting to know the girl rather than trying to actively handle the situation.
3) As mentioned before, getting more comfortable with physical escalation, and treating it as a part of my reality will help move forward and sexualize my interactions a lot more. I am however doing a great job with inserting it into conversations, but I'd like to work on both in tandem.