You write software? Oh dude, we're friends already. I'm a big free software advocate. I love the GNU project. I actually run Parabola GNU/Linux Libre.
I'm glad that your date went ok-ish...and maybe I'm reading your post long, but it sounds like you weren't touching enough. When I go out on a date, I'm looking for excuses to appropriately touch her and often. I'll bump my shoulder against her if she makes fun of me. I'll read her future by looking at her hand. Then you just escalate from there.
Generally, I won't try to kiss a girl if I haven't held her hand first. Jumping the affection ladder might be too surprising for her.
So my point is, did you touch her? If you didn't, then she certainly won't. But it could be the case that you tried to touch her, and she was distant too. You'll have to decide that for yourself.
You probably made the right move. If she walked away super fast at the end of the date, then she probably didn't want to be kissed. Nick actually recommends kissing her half-way through the date. If you wait 'til the end it can stressful for the girl. But yeah, I'm surprised though. Every girl I've dated lingered at the end so I could kiss them, which is surprising because I live in conservative-town where every other person is a Christian (I'm a Christian too, so it works out ok).
Just so we're clear. meetup.com is not only for networking meetups. I'm involved in a shakespearian club, game night, and occasionally the hacker club, etc. A lot of the meetups I'm interested in, don't have many girls in attendance, but I go because it's still a good social experience. Having lots of friends is good.
HIT ON RANDOM GIRLS!!!! DO IT! USE THE FORCE LUKE! That's actually how I got my first few dates in like several years. It's how I got my date for tomorrow actually. You will fail a lot! a lot a lot a lot. Your mind goes numb and you have no idea what to say. Lately I've been saying truthful things, even if I think they are dumb.
Yeah I like to knit.
Yes, I read the Twilight books...here's my man card. (then I show them my driver's license).
99.9% of the girls I talk to are really flattered that I tell them that they look cute. Very rarely will you have anyone say anything remotely negative.