Shen's progress

[shen]

Hello everyone, I'm shen. I've decided to make a progress journal to help keep me accountable for my goal to meet new people. I should say that this isn't really a dating progress journal per se, but rather a social skills progress journal. I moved to a new city at the start of this year to begin my first year of university, and so far it's been a particularly lonely experience; I find that I have a really hard time with meeting new people, due to some pretty bad approach anxiety. I can hold a decent enough conversation, but actually initiating the interaction and getting to the point of having an interesting conversation is something else.

I'd appreciate any advice on how I should approach dealing with approach anxiety. I guess the first course of action would be to go out and approach a lot of people for simple things like asking for the time or directions, or giving a sincere compliment, but I'm not sure where I should go from there.

Basically, I'm just going to update the journal whenever I feel like I made progress towards my goal during the day. I'm looking forward to journalling this journey.

[shen]

Alright, first sort of approach. I wasn't going for a number or anything, just trying to hold conversation with a stranger. I was picking up some notebooks from a stationary store, when I saw a redhead with a really cute outfit. I told her that I loved her style, which made her face light up. She was carrying around a camera, so I asked some questions about her photography, what pictures she's taken, what she's studying, etc. There was a brief lull in the conversation, and she told me she had to go.

In hindsight, I could have led the conversation to some more personal topics involving her obvious passion for creativity.

[shen]

First real approach! I saw another redhead today, so I decided to go up and be direct. I told her that I thought she was cute and that I had to meet her. I'm surprised at how easy it is to actually approach once I commit to walking in her direction. She ended up being pretty cool and had some common interests. I got her number and we've been texting, but I'm not sure if anything will come of it, since I'm not really feeling the attraction.

Reflecting on the brief interaction (brief because I had to get going), I should have talked about getting together before getting her number. Also in hindsight there were some moments when I could have sprinkled in some light teasing/flirting.

[Joshua]

Hey Shen,

I'm new to this forum as well. I would like to give you a tip that Nick mentioned in this article. He talks about FORD, which stands for
Family
Occupation
Recreation (What someone does in their free time)
Dreams (What someone wants for the future).

All of these topics are good to start a conversation with. Best of luck man.