Should I give this girl a second chance?

[Lasers14]

Ok I really liked this girl about a year ago and we were flirting for like a month and a half. We told each other very personal things, went on a date, and went to prom together. Before the date, I tried to initiate activities but she would always shoot them down. However, on the date (3 weeks before prom which she initiated) I didn't make a move even though it was very very obvious she liked me (because I had some personal insecurity issues at the time). I later realized how stupid it was to not make a move, and tried to spend time with her again, but about 2 weeks before prom she got very cold and distant on me and she made a move on her ex at prom. (She also made a move on her ex the same night she asked ME to go to prom with her in the first place, which was after we were already talking to each other.) Now, I don't know if she just lost Interest in me and/or resented me for not making a move after the first date, but she did admit she was curving me at one point so evidently I was trying but it may have been when it was "too late".

But now, she has been flirty with me again. and confessed several times that she feels bad for leading me on, "doing me dirty", and admits that it was nothing I did or DIDNT do (which doesnt add up). Also admitted that she doesn't know how to handle her emotions". she's been doing this for like 3 months and she definitely feels some remorse. She has went out of her way to do stuff for me and has given me many green lights like trying to make out with me when drunk (after flirting with other guys at the party too but I guess thats not a big deal), going out of her way to do stuff for me, but Im still very conflicted about what happened. Moreover, she just told a mutual friend she has more feelings for her same ex than me, but has "some feelings" for me. Also, she has on and off again feelings for my best friend who she sees as a brother one day, and as a potential romantic partner the next... which is confusing to say at the very least.

At this point, I have no idea what to do. she genuinely feels bad about what she did to the point of calling herself a "****" several times, but I am not a first option which is not really good to know.

What do yall think I should do? Also, do yall think it was stupid to wait and not ask her out on another date, seeing as we were going to prom together? Prom is basically a date so I thought it wasn't a big deal that I didn't ask her out directly again as we were both looking forward to it at one point.

[Cadguy]

You sound like me haha. Well from my past experiences don’t let her feel like she can use you as a second option. I’d say make your move and try to progress the relationship but if she starts looking back to her ex just move on with no second thoughts. That’s probably what her ex does so that’s probably why she keeps interest in him. Since you’re young, your older self won’t regret moving on and not worrying so much. Wish I realized that now haha

[Lasers14]

I didn't make a move but she straight up said she likes the other dude more... and the other dude just made out with her once and then ghosted her for months and rejected her straight up many times.

[Lasers14]

Do you think I messed up by not making a move on the date? Because we were both talking about prom a lot, she was already telling me about plans with us two in college so I thought it was going well and then all of a sudden she just got cold.

[Cadguy]

Even if you made your move and you guys made out all night, hung out the next day and everything went great, she could still be acting the same way. Hard to know exactly what’s up unless she tells you exactly what’s going on. I would say just don’t worry about it and if she’s bringing up another guy just move on or you’re going to continue to end up hurt over and over. Don’t dwell on if you made a move or not. If she likes you, she likes you. Then continue spending time with her and things will happen, just don’t friendzone yourself haha. If she goes back and for between you and an ex, don’t play those games.

[Lasers14]

yeah thats what she's doing; going back and forth. Also she has been flirty with other guys in my face at parties and then tried to do stuff with me so I guess its all lust. Not worth pursuing

[Cadguy]

It’s hard to say man. She could just be trying to make you jealous or just being a ho 😉. You sound like you’d like more than just messing around with a girl so I’d say move on and find someone better for you. If she’s serious about you she’ll stop messing around with other guys.

[Cadguy]

Anything happen with this girl yet?

[Joshua]

I've got to agree with Cadguy. When you envision your ideal girlfriend, you don't imagine her liking your best friend and hooking up with her ex instead of you. You envision her wanting you and no one else. I'd find someone else bro.

[Lasers14]

Eh she sent me a couple cute pics of herself. That's it. Btw, she does stuff like make out with two guys at parties or flirt with several guys. But then dropping them when sober. Also she is single so flirting with many people isn't a big deal imo but the making out is weird because she isn't like that when sober. But there was a time when I could tell I was her sole interest, but it seemed that way before too and she played me then as well.

[Cadguy]

She sounds like a pain in the ass haha. I've gone for girls like that in the past. They usually are a lot of fun when they are in to you but tend to cause a lot of heartache and stress. If you can start talking with a new girl and build interest in her you'll start to see the big picture and wonder what you ever seen in her in the first place. That's just how it's worked with me anyways.

[Lasers14]

Yeah that's the thing. She is super fun to be around, more fun than other girls I've talked to. But like when I hung out with her, I just felt really conflicted because if I did nothing wrong before, why should I give her a second chance? That's why I didn't make a move even though I could have.

[Joshua]

That feeling of "this girl is sooo much coolier than other girls" is a lie! Spend 2 minutes walking down a semi-busy sidewalk, and you'll walk past 30+ hot girls. A lot of them will be really cool too. The reason this girl seems cool, is because you should spend more time meeting other girls.