The story ends with onomatopoeia
The last week was an interesting week for me. I started off Monday with a networking event, Tuesday grabbed drinks with a friend, Wednesday went on a (great) date, Thursday went to a social event hosted by Canadian intern events, Friday was hanging out with my DC friend circle, after which I picked up a lady friend who stayed the weekend with me, and finally got some breathing time to myself today. Highlights include a pretty successful run on Monday, though what's interesting is that after having gone to an intern networking event before, I had met a good half of the interns at this second one as well. Phone numbers were exchanged, and the big takeaway was the girl who I went on a date with on Wednesday. Wednesday's date was fantastic: good conversation, with venue changing, establishment of both sides being on the same page (me being romantically interested, her being hesitant but willing to see me again), etc. Thursday was a blow out with not really meeting many people/the handful of girls who I took an interest in and made a move on rejected me/were taken. The weekend was good because sexy times, but also taxing as I started to realize that for the previous week had all of my free time after work taken up by social interaction, and yet I was still left feeling unfulfilled.
During that period of time, I think all this social running around was a tool by which to take my mind off onomatopoeia. I got* the feeling that she was intrigued by me, but very firm on not seeing me again before leaving. I struck up conversation with her last night, kept things flirty and fun, but today when I asked to meet up, she said no and bid me a good summer. Emotionally speaking, I'm in OK place: the emotional side of me doesn't know whether to feel angry or sad, but it definitely feels like the entire issue is unresolved. The rational side, which thankfully has quite a role in my life, is comforting the emotional side to keep functioning as needs be.
Last update with tangible happenings is, I'm really feeling this new girl I'm dating. We were talking today, she really seems to appreciate a lot of what I'm about, and even asked for my advice on something at her work. We talked on the phone for a bit after work, and I made sure to rein in the serious analytical side of my conversation so it was both substantial but playful. I'm going to look into planning our date after writing this post, but now comes my favorite part: INTROSPECTION BITCHESSS
I'll start off with onomatopoeia, since I consider our meeting one of the most important events to happen to me in DC. Within onomatopoeia there was a confluence of factors: 1) a girl who attracted me enough to lose interest in other girls, 2) a demonstration that I'm better than when I last pursued a girl whom I liked a lot evinced by our kissing and make out on the date and 3) social engineering success, in that the effort I put in at the beginning of my time in DC paid off in a circle of friends who invited me to the party where we would meet. Like I said previously, I am currently unresolved with my feelings for how this ended, but I'm OK with having that tension remain for now. It's driving me with a conviction, to be more awesome, more attractive, more experienced, so that the next time I meet her/a girl who I want to date exclusively, I'll sweep her off her feet and have her beg me to stay
@Visforleo thanks for stopping by to share your thoughts man. Onomatopoeia is a hard well to spell indeed lol, I chose that name for her cause she was a spelling bee champ when she was younger so I found it fitting. I actually read your post a couple of times because I seriously began to examine myself to see if I was like Theo in Her (I watched the movie and found it pretty good for most of the film, and although the movie was pretty disappointing, it seemed the only way to finish up realistically.)
After giving your post some time though, I think I'm in a much clearer state of mind to answer the charge. I generally nervous about being needy/clingy, not purely because of how it makes me look, but more importantly how it makes the other girl feel. I know I'm a very affectionate guy compared to the standard, and by golly, I'm OK with that. I love being affectionate and I want girls who can reciprocate that, and truthfully one of them thinks I'm needy, I'm totally OK with going MIA in preference of pursuing my other interests (hobbies, work, other girls lulz) In other words, I'm more afraid of scaring girls away, and less so about backlash of not having perfect game.
For example, in response to your example, I feel that confessing "it was a little needy" does not work favorably for increasing comfort, or attraction. If anything, it just solidifies me as a needy person and drives the girl away. In your latter example, I can see this happening:
Me: "Yeah I love pda, I really want an affectionate girl"
Girl: "Don't you think you're being kind of needy?"
Me: "Eh, I know I'm affectionate guy and the way I see it is, if a girl's into it, she's into it."
Not that that's much more effective, but that that's more genuinely depicting of my reaction internally regarding being needy. Not sure if I made that come off clearly, but point in case is that I actually enjoy sharing my story with others, I just happen not to do it often cause I don't think it's effective and attracting girls.
Looking back on my post three weeks ago, it's pretty funny how differently IDWIW month went. I technically still got three days left until the end of the month, but with onomatopoeia's departure, in addition to the loss of two members from my DC social clique, I'm basically calling it done now. Especially in light of this last week, I think I absolutely did a great job pushing myself into social events (as was the topic of my last call with Nick), and naturally placing myself into a position to meet more girls, so much so that after this weekend I'm pretty confident that I've experienced the other extreme of putting too much time into being social. With my departure in August, I've really only got two more weekends left in DC, and I'm much more interested in spending that time with the people whom I have a deeper connection with instead of social cliques/mechanisms that I've used mainly as social proof to meet and get girls. Not to mention, this experience with onomatopoeia has really filled me with a new resolve/perspective: that at this point, a lot of my dating "skills" (meeting girls, displaying interest, logistics dates, going for kisses) are economically efficient, and that the next place I should be placing my interest is more investment on myself.
This week I'm looking forward to a date, political social event (lol), and birthday party on Saturday, so it's not like I'm going full hermit. But now that I'm at the end of this IDWIW month, I'm planning to reorient on spending more time on myself in hopes of achieving more of what I really want. Hope things are going well with you friends, looking forward to your updates, and happy August soon!