In the day following my last post nothing romantic happened between me and that girl. Her boyfriend became increasingly paranoid about my presence. She and I had an argument, in which she maintained that having sex with someone without the intent of marrying them was harmful, and I was arguing it was not, that it could be, but it depended on the context. Making a blanket statement that all non-committed sex is disrespectful and harmful seemed ridiculous to me, and I was offended because she was implicitly judging me and everyone I have ever slept with, and every woman who has ever slept with me. The argument didn't lead to any animosity between us, but it was an argument. She and I have fundamentally different values in the sex and romance department.
I started my new job today. Better pay, better security, better benefits, better work.
My show is going up this coming weekend. It is going well. It's stretched me a great deal, especially the dancing.
On Saturday, after an eight hour dance rehearsal, I went out to a Dungeon Bar Crawl in Boston. The organizers had set up a scavenger hunt around town. You had to complete quests, hunt down NPCs, solve riddles, and all sorts of things. There were three teams competing. If you encountered another team, you could battle them via nerf weapons and take their loot. If you died, you had to find a bar and drink a "healing potion."
Surprisingly the event was about 60% female, mostly nerdy girls cosplaying. A friend of mine whom I'd invited couldn't come, but she mentioned it to another friend of her's, who I'll call Janet. She and I exchanged numbers and met up at the event.
Janet came decked out in a Lara Croft costume, complete with double pistols in holsters she'd made herself. While to say she was as physically hot as Lara Croft is probably not accurate, I'll just say she pulled off the costume very well. On top of this my entire team was female. I got to know all of them, and being the only guy I was getting hit on quite a bit. It was nice.
Eventually a few more guys showed up and we split into two squads. Janet and I stuck together, along with a handful of other folks and we set out on our first quest. Two of our companions were experienced larpers and were rather adapt at beating the crap out of anyone we came across. In one case we came upon a party of four opponents. Perhaps this is the right time to mention we were the evil team? We cornered one guy, killed him and took his loot, but the other three escaped. This guy barreled after them with foam sword in hand. A minute later he comes back with all their stuff. They didn't even get a hit on him. He said later on that he felt like a bit of an asshole though. He wanted to give some of their stuff back to them, but we didn't run into them again.
Janet and I flirted and chatted all night. Around midnight we went to one of the bars and enjoyed some healing potions together. The subway wasn't close and I wasn't sure where my bus stop was, so she offered to give me a ride to a stop if we walked back to her place. We did, and we hugged. I was tempted to kiss her, but I was getting the impression she didn't want me to, so I didn't. Sunday night we had the following conversation over text:
Me: Wanna go to a rooftop pool party on the colonnade tuesy"
Her: Wow that sounds fun! I am a bit of a wuss for long nights on weeknights and I have a fitness class too.
Her: Um, I'm sorry if I was flirty with you last night, I have a boyfriend in China (hence why I'm going in a couple weeks) you seem really nice and cool so it'd be fun to hang out as friends.
Me: Oh ok!
Me: You are very attractive
Her: Thank you for saying that, i figure I should metnion the boyfriend seeing as I was stupid and didn't mention it earlier
Ha, as if it had just slipped her mind. I laughed out loud at that. I took her hesitancy to tell me about him as a big compliment though.
Me: Yeah thats cool you're great i'm down for being friends. your bf's a luck guy.
Me: Long distance is tough
Her: Thanks, sweet of you to say, glad we can hang out, I had so much fun last night
Her: It's super long distance and it stinks
Me: I did too. and yeah. I went to Vietnam for someone once. We didn't work out though obviously. But that's awesome you're doing that.
I told her that story, she told me about her bf moving there for work.
Her: You lead a pretty amazing life it sounds.
More chat, talk about how I try to and I don't want to become boring.
Her: Lol, I can't imagine you ever being boring.
Me: You're sweet.
Me: So it's a no for tuesday right?
Her: Thanks, you are too, and I think you have a great outlook.
Her: What time does it start?
Me: Thanks, just what I've learned, half from other peoples' mistakes, half the hard way. 7-10.
Me: No worries if you can't we can do something else I will def want to
She says no 'cause she has a workout class then she's already paid for.
Her: You are making me want to do more with myself, heh
Me: Good, you should. I don't get this attracted to uninteresting people. You can start by not limiting yourself to tourist stuff in China Her: Good point! Actually I'll be going to Japan too, which I'm excited to do otaku things.
Me: "I'm jealous, I want Japan."
Her: "Hahaha you want all of it?"
Me: "Yes, but I will negotiate down"
Her: "You who just tried sushi for the first time in YOUR LIFE?"
We joked a bunch more. We talked a little about improv and I encouraged her to come to an amateur improv night on Thursdays. Also conflicts with her workouts, but she might try and reschedule.
Her "I want to check out you doing your things, I'll figure something out."
Me: "ok "
Sooooo we'll be friends. Yeah sure we will.
On Sunday I had a dress rehearsal for the show. I got there pretty early, and the redhead I've liked happened to get there early too. While we were stretching I went to her. "You free after rehearsal?" "Ummm.... I think so..... no wait I'm having dinner with my aunt.... I don't know though I might not have to." "OK, well if you are I am." "OK!"
We went through rehearsal and at the end she and I met up. Her mom let her know that it wasn't a big deal so she could go out. Sweet.
I didn't have anything planned so there was a short awkward period where she and I were looking through our phones for something to do. We settled on going to a local bar. She's from New Hampshire and I'm from Boston, so neither of us knew this town very well. But whatever.
The dinner was great. She is an extraordinary person. She talked a lot about how much she values vulnerability and communication, all these different lessons she's learned in life which were all Grade A therapy lessons. She shared secrets with me, even some that I could use against her if I felt so inclined. I was impressed at how quickly she trusted me. I reciprocated. She shared her aspirations with me, how she wants to take big risks and move to New York and try to be an actor and so on. I think she's getting ahead of herself but god damn it's so attractive. She's honest, smart, sexy, philosophical, nerdy, ambitious, honest, and recognizes bullshit when she sees it.
I drove us back to the theater space where we rehearse so she could grab her car. We hugged. It was a close hug, not a friendly hug. She said "I really like hanging out with you." I said "I like hanging out with you too." Then I wished her goodbye.
Honestly I was a little dumbfounded, and I think in a very good and kind of frightening way. With my last several relationships I've always known from the get go why it would fail. They were experimental, maybe a year long tops, and afterwards I would go back to sleeping around and adventuring. Not that I know her very well, but there is nothing wrong with this woman. She is doing everything right in life and she is attractive to me in every way. I could fall in love with her, and I would be truly heartbroken if we got together and it didn't work out.
That scares the shit out of me.
And I think I need to date only people for whom I feel this way from now on.
Oh yeah, I wanna share this with y'all. This was with another girl.
Her: I hate mornings lol
Me: I could make you like them
Her: Lol...idk i'm a pretty pitiful morning person
Me: You haven't tried my breakfast
Her: Is it special lol?
Me: You'll want your fill
Her: I usually don't eat breakfast
Me: I'll be doing most of the eating
Her: Lol probably
Her: Sounds perfect
I think she actually thought I wanted to make her breakfast.